october 31st 11:59 PM

november 1st 12:00 am

(Source: julyjackolantern)

(Source: weednymphos)




The many uses

File under cool as fuck.

Oh, this just gave me so many ideas for my .50 cal cans…..

(Source: elpatronrealg)

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II just recently and I think now that I know what is wrong with me, I get even more frustrated. My doctor is easing me on a mood stabilizers so I’m still having episodes. It kills me that this is what I have to live with and that I have to adapt to different ways to control my episodes. When people notice you aren’t yourself. When your face feels sunken in and you’re in a fish bowl then the next day or you are happy as can be and can’t sleep. It sucks. I’m fighting a battle within myself that no one can understand and I can’t even explain to people. It’s hard to put into words how I feel and when I do I regret what I say because it’s crazy. So I just live with the thoughts racing through my mind and hearing voices. I just want to get better.


The worst feeling in the world is knowing that talking about how you feel, and how you’re struggling, pushes the people you care most about away. So you stay silent and suffer on your own.

I wish I could explain it so someone could understand it. I’m afraid it’s something I can’t put into words. There’s just this heavy, overwhelming despair - dreading everything. Dreading life. Empty inside, to the point of numbness. It’s like there’s something already dead inside. My whole being has been pulling back into that void for months.
Kay Redfield Jamison -  An Unquiet Mind (via sophrosynicat)
Bipolar robs you of that which is you. It can take from you the very core of your being and replace it with something that is completely opposite of who and what you truly are. Because my bipolar went untreated for so long, I spent many years looking in the mirror and seeing a person I did not recognize or understand. Not only did bipolar rob me of my sanity, but it robbed me of my ability to see beyond the space it dictated me to look. I no longer could tell reality from fantasy, and I walked in a world no longer my own.
Alyssa Reyans, Letters from a Bipolar Mother (via shadowdaysareover)
Can you live without being whole? I feel like I am a 1000 piece puzzle and everyone can see that I am missing a piece; the most important piece.